I met my (now) ex 6 years ago, when I was 19 and he was ummm
a little older. We fell in love very quickly and we were living together within
ummm two weeks. We had a ummm interesting relationship. It was kind of crazy
and intense, two passionate people, in a small space, a lot of travelling,
maybe some ummmm experimental drug use.
Fastforward two years and we find ourselves pregnant. We
have our son, turn our lives around, move to London, start new careers etc.
Fast forward another two and half years and while I’m finding myself in working
from home, being a mom, housewife etc he was finding himself in ummmm another
woman. No bitterness, just a lot of therapy. Now I threw myself into getting
over him as quick as possible, fixing up the wounds he’d left, moving
cross-country, sorting my life out, for the sake of our son, working out our
family of two. Like I said, a lot of therapy, sort of started dating again, new
projects, occasional Twitter rant. And this site.
Which brings us to now. It’s been five months since the
split and I’m still working most of it out. I think I pretty much will be the
entire rest of my life. Single motherhood is somewhat desperate, lonely,
hilarious, magical, special, frustrating and a whole lot more in between.
Really the way I see it, it’s just the same as coupled up motherhood, but for
me it’s far more intense. Every tantrum, every scraped knee, every joy and
heartache and late night and early morning, with no one to share it with. Every
emotion magnified and with no one to hand the kids to at the end of a long day,
no one to offload on, no one to make those big decisions with, or tell you
‘hey, you’re doing ok’.
p.s. the ‘ummms’ in this writing are reflective of how I
speak, those are the bits that I might have hesitated to admit to you guys if
we were talking face to face, the bits I’m maybe not so keen on sharing, but in
the name of honest blogging and building a relationship with your readers, I
will where I can. I don’t promise I will share everything here, but I will
always try to be honest when I do.
I love this new blog of yours, Charlotte. It's really nice to have the chance to see the personal side of you. That doesn't happen often with us mommy bloggers. It's usually all about the kids, so I think it's wonderful that you have this place to share your "grown up" self with your readers.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure it's been quite a ride, these past few months, but I get the feeling that you're a very strong a fiesty woman, and I have no doubt that you are going to be more than A-OK.
Remember, that sometimes we have to let go of the life that we had planned in order to have the life that was meant for us.
You go, girl. x
Won't it be interesting to see where the next "fast forward 2 years" will have taken you? I guess it's true in what they say, when one door shuts yada yada. You know all that stuff you might have had in the back of your mind about what you'd never get to do again when you got married? Well, no more nevers (unless it's dating douche bags but then, you can't really tell until they douche you, can you?) and the way I see it, windows, doors and opportunities are all wide open and I'm excited for you because you're amazing. Put amazing and open opportunities together and you know what you get. xo
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your honest candor!
ReplyDelete"No one to hand the kids to at the end of a long day, no one to offload on, no one to tell you ‘hey, you’re doing ok’" -- hmm, that sounds suspiciously like my married life with two kids. :) I think we can all relate in one way or another. Thank you for sharing. You'll be okay. We all will. :)
ReplyDelete