I met my (now) ex 6 years ago, when I was 19 and he was ummm a little older. We fell in love very quickly and we were living together within ummm two weeks. We had a ummm interesting relationship. It was kind of crazy and intense, two passionate people, in a small space, a lot of travelling, maybe some ummmm experimental drug use.
Fastforward two years and we find ourselves pregnant. We have our son, turn our lives around, move to London, start new careers etc. Fast forward another two and half years and while I’m finding myself in working from home, being a mom, housewife etc he was finding himself in ummmm another woman. No bitterness, just a lot of therapy. Now I threw myself into getting over him as quick as possible, fixing up the wounds he’d left, moving cross-country, sorting my life out, for the sake of our son, working out our family of two. Like I said, a lot of therapy, sort of started dating again, new projects, occasional Twitter rant. And this site.
Which brings us to now. It’s been five months since the split and I’m still working most of it out. I think I pretty much will be the entire rest of my life. Single motherhood is somewhat desperate, lonely, hilarious, magical, special, frustrating and a whole lot more in between. Really the way I see it, it’s just the same as coupled up motherhood, but for me it’s far more intense. Every tantrum, every scraped knee, every joy and heartache and late night and early morning, with no one to share it with. Every emotion magnified and with no one to hand the kids to at the end of a long day, no one to offload on, no one to make those big decisions with, or tell you ‘hey, you’re doing ok’.
p.s. the ‘ummms’ in this writing are reflective of how I speak, those are the bits that I might have hesitated to admit to you guys if we were talking face to face, the bits I’m maybe not so keen on sharing, but in the name of honest blogging and building a relationship with your readers, I will where I can. I don’t promise I will share everything here, but I will always try to be honest when I do.